Father’s Day is just around the corner and I must confess that I’ve never given it the same weight as Mother’s Day. It’s not because I thought my father was any less important, and it’s certainly not a measure of his place in my heart. I guess it’s because I thought, viewed from my irrational childhood lens, he needed it less.

This year though, as I mark the occasion, I find myself reflecting on how fatherhood through generations mirrors Singapore’s evolving relationship between our leaders and citizens.

My father was always there, responsible, reliable, available, but always in the background. I didn’t always turn to him first in times of distress or celebration; that role belonged to my mother. She was the primary nurturer and provider; the one I confided in, whose presence felt natural in times of joy or struggle.

My father, on the other hand, was constant in a quieter way; like many fathers of his generation, he fulfilled his role without expectation of praise or validation. He provided for our family and was always supportive and present. Even when I didn’t consciously seek his presence, he was there, showing his love through acts of service rather than words.

Looking back, I sometimes wonder: Did I ever truly show my appreciation for him in those years? I know I was grateful, but like many sons of my generation, I likely took his presence for granted. I never questioned that he would be there, that he would have my back, and that I could depend on him. And so, perhaps my attitude towards Father’s Day became a reflection of my own appreciation for my father: grateful but somewhat taken for granted.

It wasn’t until I became a father that I began to truly understand why he did what he did, and still continues to do. Not because of some great epiphany, but simply because my own children, encouraged by their mother, made sure I was celebrated. And in those moments over the last 20 years – I finally got to see myself through his eyes. Without consciously striving to do so, I have become my father.

My son, unlike me, is more expressive in his gratitude and more vocal in his engagement. He seeks my advice openly and values my guidance, but he does not submit passively to authority. He asks questions, seeks understanding and wants to be heard. I see it not as rebellion, but as an assertion of his place in our relationship. Like many sons of his generation, he respects his dad not because of tradition, but perhaps because he feels respected in return.

It occurred to me that in many ways, this reflects the changing dynamic of Singapore’s leadership. Where my father’s generation accepted authority, my son’s generation expects more engagement, transparency and a greater sense of agency. Leadership is no longer just about steadfastness – it’s about listening, adapting and earning trust through respect, rather than assuming it.

Singapore is undergoing this leadership evolution. Our founding father, Lee Kuan Yew, built the nation through firm guidance and structured authority. In the early years, paternal leadership was necessary to stabilise and steer the country. But as a nation matures, so too must its governance.

With our recent 14^th General Election, leadership is now passing into the hands of our 4G leaders. Prime Minister Lawrence Wong now steps into his role as leader of our island nation, a new father (in a fashion) to the sons of the next generation. His predecessor, Senior Minister Lee Hsien Loong, continues to provide counsel and experience while the 4G leadership navigates new waters.

As much as it empowers my son to know that he can always rely on me, I derive equal comfort knowing that he still chooses to do so. But children grow independent – my son is now 20 to my 50s, and is beginning to enter a season where he will lean less on me.

With introspection, I look to my own father – now in his 80s to my 50s. I may no longer lean on him in the same way I once did, but the knowledge that I can still turn to him brings a quiet reassurance. While I can only guess if PM Wong similarly takes comfort from knowing that he can turn to his predecessor for guidance and advice, I am more certain that we, the citizens, are assured in knowing that he can, and continues to do so.

Just as I hope my son will see parts of me in himself, I hope he will take what I’ve taught him and shape his own future. I hope Singapore’s next generation of citizens and leaders will do the same, honouring the foundations laid before them while forging their own path.

This year, as I celebrate my own father, I am reminded that the best way to carry forward his legacy is to be a good father to my son. The dynamic of that needs adjustment. It feels like our 4G leaders have come to the same conclusion – a more engaged and listening tone pervades the national conversation. Happy Father’s Day, Singapore!